I am six days away from the one year anniversary of my mother’s death and I don’t know how I am going to be. I don’t know how I am going to feel. I don’t even know what to do. I won’t be with my family for this and I want to be there for them, for me. I need them right now, like I need my mom. I won’t be with them for this because of my duties. I just don’t even know what to feel, besides extreme sorrow. I just want the day to come and go. I don’t want to deal with this. But at the same time, its the first and I know its going to be the hardest and no one here knows. I can’t share this with my Soldiers, I need to be strong for them. God, I just need my family more than ever now. How do I do this without them? How do I stay strong? Can I just skip this day?