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I have almost said that in every phone conversation I have had with my family member since I got overseas. It is still such a natural thing for me to want to call my mom and tell her everything that is going on, even after nine months.  I just want to talk to her and tell her things and hear her voice.  It was always just so natural for my mom to be the last phone call of the night or for me to call her after I talked to my brother or aunt or whomever.  And they were used to hearing me say “Ok I’m going to call mom now”.  But if I say that now what does it mean? What will it feel like to actually says those words without her being here?  And how will it affect my brother or my aunt?  I always have to stop myself from saying it, because I catch myself wanting to say it all the time.  And I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to call my momma.