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Cards were always something my mother did, probably due to being a baby boomer, it was just a generational thing.  But she always bought cards, even for stupid things, she even began buying me cards for my half-birthday (a holiday I invented and insisted my family celebrate).  And she always had a knack for picking out the perfect card, whether it be funny or sentimental, her cards always appropriately expressed her feelings. 

As I have said before, my mother died 15 days before my 30th birthday.  And I don’t know when or how, but she managed to buy me a birthday card before she spent the last three weeks of her life in the hospital.  And it was the most amazing card.  In just one single card it said everything every mother should say to a daughter and everything a daughter needs to hear from her mother. It was a beautiful card and it made me cry.  And the saddest part was that my mother never got a chance to sign it. When my Aunt gave me the card she said “your mom bought this right before she went into the hospital for the last time and she did not have a chance to sign it.”  So I have this amazing card that my mom spent the time to pick out and read and never signed it.  And I know my mom picked it out, because she never signed cards until she was ready to give it to someone.  In the last two weeks of her life she was barely conscious and there was no way she could have signed it, because even if she did it would not have been her signature. I will never be able to get rid of that card, it is that last thing I received from my mother, and I cry every time I read it.  And now I wish I kept every card that mother ever game me, because they are small glimpses into the love that she had for me.

That love from that unsigned card is something I will never let go of.  I would give anything in the world to have my mother say those things to me, in person, and I would love to have her signature in it too, because, just because.  A daughter needs her mother, and I feel like all I have left is that card, and I would rather have my mom…

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