For the last week or so I have constantly been thinking about Him (the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with) and I have been really tempted to write to Him. Well recently (like less than 24 hours ago) I found out he got back together with his ex-wife, so this letter is a lot different than I had imagined. I will probably post both of the letters, but this one I need to write right now.
This letter was meant to be my final goodbye to you, my closure I suppose. But after recently finding out you got back together with your ex-wife, this letter has a whole different meaning to me.
I guess when you said you wanted to wake up with me everyday that was a lie. And when you said that getting divorced was the best thing you ever did for yourself because you realized it was me, that too was a lie. I originally wanted to write this letter to let you know that no matter what happened, I do love you and that I did (and I guess still do) want to spend my life with you. I think your daughter is amazing and I think you are too. You inspire me and make me laugh. You supported my crazy life decisions, and understand both of my careers. What more could I have asked for? A little bit of honesty, I could and should have asked for that.
I would have followed you anywhere, and for me to admit that is a big deal. I have never compromised who I was or what I wanted for any other guy in my life, but for you I would have. And not in the “desperate I need you” way, but in the way that I knew us being together would make us both happy and better.
I know now that being with me was too hard, or that I was too honest with you, and that it was just easier to go back to your ex-wife. That woman you hated? That woman who made your life miserable? Yea it must have been pretty awful. I know that someday I will get over you and that someone will make me as happy as you did, but not right now. And I think it is completely unfair that you get to be happy, while I sit here alone and single and missing you. Are you going to marry her again? Do you even think about me? Do you even care what you have done to me? Do you even care that I believed all your lies, because in my head it had to have been lies. Because no person would tell someone they love them and then get back with their ex-wife, unless they were a pathological liar.
I feel like I have nothing more to say to you. I loved you, I believed you.